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  • Writer's pictureDr. Jo Nell Shaw DC, ND

Grief during the holidays

Loss any time of the year is hard, the holidays can amplify things. For those who are grieving the loss of a loved one, a child, or pregnancy every time a memory comes up it can be tough to manage your feelings.

In the case of parents losing a child, the process of grieving changes over time but it does not have a time limit. There is no period of time in which you can logically expect to "be over it". The most hurtful thing a patient has shared with me was a family member stating the year after their stillbirth that "You should be over it by now". Finding your own answer to statements like this can be hard.

If you find yourself sitting with a grieving parent please be kind. The need to speak can be very strong and it is more important to be there as a witness and support than it is to create a silver lining. My advice for being present with a person is focusing on listening, the ability to actually listen and not try to fix the situation. The process cannot be rushed from the outside, your guidance is not needed, your support is what matters most.

Please be patient with yourself and those around you. Adapting to reality vs expectation is the name of the game.

If you are looking for counseling or group therapy please reach out to 3 Hopeful Hearts and Still Birthday for further support. My office is, of course, open and here for you and your family, please feel free to reach out even if it's just for tea and support.

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